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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29670003">Aay’han Mar’eyce (Bittersweet Discovery)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/brianmay_be/pseuds/brianmay_be'>brianmay_be</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Jate'kara (Lucky Stars) [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Mandalorian (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s02e05 The Jedi, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Good Parent Din Djarin, Hurt/Comfort, Loving Marriage, Married Life, Oh also, Parenthood, Pregnancy, Protective Din Djarin, and they're very proud parents when grogu shows off his powers, another episode rewrite with mr. and mrs. djarin :), basically they stress about letting their baby go off with someone they don't even know, but they learn his name and his past before they adopted him, it's all very angsty and emotional, reader as you'll recall from the end of the last fic is having a baby :)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 23:47:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>20,103</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29670003</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/brianmay_be/pseuds/brianmay_be</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>No matter what happened on this planet, Din would need you. His struggle between the love he had for his foundling and the loyalty he had to the Way would not be an easy thing to overcome, and you wouldn’t leave him to face it alone.</p><p>or;</p><p>In search of the Jedi you’ve been tasked to find, you and Din wrestle with the bittersweet discovery of your little one’s past and destined future.</p><p>(Sequel to Dralshy'a Ka'ra)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Din Djarin &amp; Grogu | Baby Yoda &amp; Reader, Din Djarin &amp; Reader, Din Djarin &amp; You, Din Djarin/Reader, Din Djarin/You</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Jate'kara (Lucky Stars) [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2178801</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>77</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. One Step at a Time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Corvus. This is the place.”</p><p>Your husband’s voice broke the silence that had filled the cockpit, and you looked up to see a cloudy green planet steadily growing bigger beyond the glass. Bright glimpses of magma core peeked through the dense atmosphere. The display on the Crest’s instrument panel gave a friendly chirp and outlined the planet’s main hubs, one of which was the city of Calodan. Your stomach gave an unpleasant jolt at the name and you tried to still the slight trembling of your hands, looking for something to distract you from your impending arrival on the planet.</p><p>You held an unfinished project in your hands, a soft little baby romper made of navy blue cotton. Din had gotten you the fabric while you were staying on Naboo - though he’d gotten it for you to make something for yourself, he hadn’t minded when you told him you were going to use a little of it to make something for your babies. You’d already stitched up a handsome little shirt for your son, and now you were working on something for your new baby.</p><p>Resting your hand over your stomach, you gave a small sigh and thought over the last month. Omera had wanted you to try and steer clear of danger as much as possible, for your sake and the baby’s, but danger followed your little family with an uncanny determination. The Mandalorians you’d found on Trask had turned out to be an entirely different kind than the one you’d known, taking their helmets off as if their creed meant nothing, roping your husband into a dangerous, fruitless mission in exchange for their help. But they’d also helped save your little one, and you’d be forever indebted to them for it.</p><p>You shuddered. You couldn’t think about that day for long before you grew panicky, nervous to let your son out of your sight lest he be swallowed up like that again. You and Din had both had nightmares about it, about what could have happened to Din or your baby on that ship. You could have lost a child and been widowed in the blink of an eye had it not been for Bo-Katan and the other Mandalorians, and the thought made you sick with fear and worry even now.</p><p>Then you’d gone to Nevarro, and Din had gone off on <em> another </em>mission to destroy an Imperial base. You and your husband had argued about it, but he eventually brought you around - Cara and Greef were your friends, and they’d always helped you when you needed it. It was time to return the favor, even if it meant you’d be fretting in the back of a schoolroom the entire time they were gone. </p><p>Your husband’s return hadn’t been the triumphant victory you’d expected - Din had rushed in, wasting no breath on explanations, and taken you and the baby back to the ship for a hasty departure. It was just your luck that your escape from Nevarro had devolved into a dogfight with Imperial TIE-fighters, and your poor husband had endured no small amount of ranting from you when things settled back down. You were angry and worried, petrified by the thought of the experiments the Imperial warlords wanted to perform on your little one.</p><p>And now, you were approaching the planet that sheltered the Jedi you’d been tasked to find. The Jedi you were then supposed to hand your baby over to, because she was one of “his kind”. You felt a now-familiar wash of unease come over you, and worried your bottom lip to try and keep it in check.</p><p>“I’ve detected a beacon,” Din said, looking over at the display. Your baby sat up on the dash next to him, watching his movements with interest.</p><p>Din worked around him, pressing buttons and flipping switches in preparation for landing. “I’m gonna start the landing cycle,” he said. He glanced down at your son. “You better get back in your seat.”</p><p>The baby didn’t move from the dash, giving a soft coo of protest. You noticed the silver handle was back on the gear shift and smiled a little, knowing that was what held your little one’s attention enough for him to disregard his dad’s instruction. </p><p>Din took his focus from the landing cycle long enough to realize his son hadn’t done as he was told.</p><p>“Hey, what did I tell you?” he said, in a mildly scolding tone. “Back in your seat.”</p><p>Your baby’s ears drooped. Setting aside your sewing project, you rose and gathered him into your arms.</p><p>“Oh, you poor thing,” you crooned, cuddling him close. “Your daddy’s so grumpy, isn’t he?”</p><p>He gave a babble of agreement, and Din huffed a laugh.</p><p>“I’ll be more grumpy if he tumbles off the dash while we’re landing.”</p><p>“That’s not true,” you told your baby. “Daddy would hold you and kiss it better. He couldn’t be grumpy with you if he tried.” As stoic as your husband seemed on the outside, he was as gentle as could be underneath all that armor. </p><p>He flipped another switch and looked over his shoulder at you.</p><p>“You alright, cyare?” he asked gently. “You’ve been pretty quiet today.”</p><p>Usually you could be counted on to keep up a steady stream of conversation if you decided to stay with Din in the cockpit rather than roam around the ship. For this trip, though, you’d been uncharacteristically quiet. You knew Din shared your fears about finally meeting this Jedi, but you were completely tangled up in knots about it and hadn’t wanted to burden him.</p><p>You shook your head and held your baby closer. “I’m fine. Just... tired, I guess.”</p><p>You <em> were </em> a little run down, especially since morning sickness had started to give you some trouble, but you’d had much worse and would muscle through it. Besides, you couldn’t really afford to slow down, and both you and Din knew it.</p><p>“I would have thought you’d be relieved to have a little peace and quiet,” you teased lightly. He’d told you when you first started courting that the Crest had never heard so much talking until you came aboard.</p><p>He chuckled. “I like listening to you talk, cyare.” He eased the Crest into the atmosphere, a task that was second nature after so many years with the same ship. He glanced over at the little romper you’d laid on the dash.</p><p>“You finished it?” he asked.</p><p>You picked it up; your baby grabbed it in his clawed hand.</p><p>“Gentle,” you reminded him. “This is for ik’aad, remember?” Din had used the Mandalorian word for “baby” to tell your son your happy news, and it had stuck. Even now, your little one’s ears perked up at the nickname.</p><p>You smiled when he brushed his fingers over the fabric with a gentler touch and gave a soft coo.</p><p>“I haven’t finished it yet,” you said to Din. “I want to do some embroidery on it, if I can find the right thread - I was thinking little snowflakes along the collar.”</p><p>Your baby would be born during the winter on Sorgan, and even though you knew it was early yet, you’d taken great comfort and joy in working on this outfit. </p><p>Din held out his hand. “May I see?”</p><p>You handed it to him, and it seemed delicate and very small in his big hands. He ran a finger over the collar.</p><p>“You’ve done a beautiful job so far, cyar’ika,” he said, and you felt your cheeks pink a little at the tenderness of his compliment.</p><p>“Thank you,” you said. You put your son down in your seat and took the romper from your husband’s hand.</p><p>“Stay put, and be good for dad,” you told your little one. “I’ll be right back.”</p><p>You gathered up your sewing odds and ends and took them down to the second level of the Crest, tucking them safely away in the small chest you kept your mending in. A shirt of Din’s that had torn at the shoulder seam was half-folded at the bottom, and you took a moment to neaten it and steady yourself before you went back up to the cockpit.</p><p>Ahsoka Tano was her name. It was the only thing you knew about her, besides the fact that she was a Jedi. You didn’t know what she looked like, or who she worked for, or how she would train your little one. She might be cruel and mean-tempered, for all you knew - how could you just hand your foundling over to her?</p><p>You and Din hadn’t really talked about it. Up until now, finding a Jedi had always seemed like something that might take years to accomplish. They were apparently very few and far between, and though you now knew it had been foolish to do so, you had never really given any great consideration to actually <em> finding </em>one, at least not so quickly. You and Din had loved your little one and cared for him as your own, even before the Armorer declared you a clan of three and heard your vows to adopt him. To hand him over to someone you knew nothing about - someone from an enemy race to the Mandalorians, no less - was unthinkable.</p><p>But you’d also vowed something else to the armorer that day. Together, you and Din had promised to find others of your foundling’s kind and return him to them. It was not a vow you took lightly, and you knew Din would no sooner break his promise than he would give up the Way. </p><p>You straightened your shoulders and stood. No matter what happened on this planet, Din would need you. His struggle between the love he had for his foundling and the loyalty he had to the Way would not be an easy thing to overcome, and you wouldn’t leave him to face it alone.</p><p>You made your way back up to the cockpit, and you heard your little one babbling away before you came through the doors. Din was nodding and responded with interest despite the baby’s chatter not really meaning anything, and you felt your chest tighten. This was going to be harder than you thought.</p><p> </p><p>Din landed the Crest in a clearing among the forest of charred, skeletal trees surrounded by a sickly fog. You wondered if the air was even breathable. A quick check to the Crest’s display showed that it was, but the greenish tinge of the smog only added to your unease as the ship settled to the ground.</p><p>“I thought Bo-Katan said this was a forest planet,” you said.</p><p>Din started the shutdown cycle. “She did. Something must have happened to destroy the forests, and I’m guessing it wasn’t an accident. It probably has something to do with that city we passed over.”</p><p>You looked up at his helm as he stood. “The city we’re headed to?”</p><p>“Right again,” he said wryly. He looked over your shoulder to the dead trees outside. “Do you want to stay here while I go check out the city?”</p><p>As if on cue, a low groaning sound came from outside - only a very big creature could have made such a noise, and it didn’t sound like anything you’d like to meet on your own.</p><p>You crossed your arms over your chest and pressed closer to him. “No, I want to go with you.” You didn’t want to be on this planet anyway, and being separated from Din would only make it worse.</p><p>He ran a hand over your back to soothe you. “Okay,” he agreed. “Are you ready to leave?”</p><p>You nodded, but you didn’t pull away from him yet. His chestplate felt cool against your skin, and you allowed yourself a moment of comfort in his arms.</p><p>He cradled your face in his hands and leaned his helmet against your head. </p><p>“It’s gonna be alright, cyar’ika,” he said gently. “We’ll just take it one step at a time, ok? We might not even find her here.”</p><p>You pulled back then, just enough to look up at his visor. You didn’t need to see his face to read the tension and unease he held in his whole body; he was just as hesitant to go looking for Ahsoka Tano as you were.</p><p>You bit the inside of your cheek. “One step at a time,” you agreed.</p><p>He nodded and relaxed a little. He gave you a final gentle tap of his helm against your head, a reassuring, comforting kiss, then beckoned to your little one.</p><p>“Come on, ad’ika,” he said, taking him from the seat. “Let’s go see what we can find.”</p><p>You followed Din to the second level, and he set your baby down after he’d come down the ladder to let him stretch his little legs. Your little one toddled after Din as the ramp lowered and revealed the bleak landscape you’d seen through the glass. The dead forest stretched in every direction, broken only by the great hulking shapes of slow-moving creatures in the distance.</p><p>Seeing his father had stopped at the foot of the ramp, your baby stopped too - top heavy and struggling to balance on the ramp, he sat midway down the slope with a little coo. You noticed he had the handle to the gear shift in his hand and was contentedly watching the way it shone in the weak sunlight.</p><p>“Did daddy give you that?” you asked, hunkering down next to him. He held it up to you and gave a soft babble.</p><p>Din turned. “Did I give him what?” He saw the ball in your baby’s hand and closed the distance between you in a few steps.</p><p>“What did I say about that?” Din scolded, extending his hand. The baby whined but reluctantly handed over his prize.</p><p>“This needs to stay in the ship,” Din chided. He tucked the ball into a pocket on his belt and straightened, looking out over the terrain again. You gave your son a consoling kiss on his soft ear; he chirped happily at you and you couldn’t help but smile back.</p><p>“Not much to see out here,” Din said. He looked back at the two of you. “I’ve never had dealings with the Jedi before.”</p><p>Neither of you had, and his guess was as good as yours as to whether Jedi usually made their homes on planets as seemingly inhospitable as this. You knew nothing of their customs, their way of life - perhaps they didn’t even train ones as little as your baby, or were still hostile to Mandalorians. The only way to know would be to find the one you were looking for.</p><p>Din leaned down to scoop your baby up, cradling him in the crook of his arm, and offered his hand to you to help you stand. He gave your hand a quick squeeze before letting go.</p><p>“Let’s head into town,” he said. “See if we can pick up a lead.”</p><p>You stayed by his side as he walked to the edge of the clearing, and the Crest whirred as it drew the ramp back up and settled in to wait. You’d landed far enough away from the city to leave your ship better guarded against thieves, but it wouldn’t be a long walk to reach the city.</p><p>The forest closed in the further you went from your ship - even though they were rotted, the trees were numerous and large. They loomed in the fog, invisible until you were right on top of them, and it set your teeth on edge. When he was carrying the baby, Din preferred to have his other hand free to grab his blaster if the need should arise; to oblige him but still attempt to soothe your jangled nerves, you held a handful of his cloak and kept close to him that way.</p><p>All three of your kept quiet as you walked. You were in no mood for cheery conversation, and Din was well accustomed to silence on a bounty hunt. Even though Ahsoka Tano wasn’t a bounty, you knew your husband would employ those same skills to find her in the city; Din was an excellent hunter, and would most likely find her quickly. You didn’t know if that was a good thing or not.</p><p>Just before you reached the city, Din stopped and asked you to take the baby.</p><p>“Keep him close, cyare,” he said as your little one snuggled against your chest. “I don’t want either of you wandering.”</p><p>He knew he didn’t have to remind you, but you also knew it helped soothe his nerves. You put your hand on his arm, hoping to reassure him.</p><p>“We’ll stay close,” you told him. Though you were occasionally tempted to break his “stay by my side” rule on more colorful, inviting planets - you’d gotten a thorough reaming out from your husband one time after you’d wandered off and gotten lost in a bazaar on a Mid-Rim planet and made him sick with worry - you wanted to stick close on this planet.</p><p>“Should we do the nursemaid, this time?” you asked. A Mandalorian accompanied by a young woman and a baby would always call attention, and you often playacted to keep your identity as his wife a secret. You and your little one made him vulnerable, and were therefore a higher prize to be won or better bargaining chip to own.</p><p>Din’s posture stiffened.</p><p>“No,” he said firmly. “If anyone asks, we’ll tell them the truth. You’re my wife, and anyone who wants to get at you or our baby will have to go through me first.”</p><p>You felt a strange mix of apprehension and pride, hesitance and desire. His protective nature had always been something you loved about him, but he wasn’t usually this keyed up before a hunt. You reminded yourself this wasn’t a regular hunt you were on; neither of you had any idea what you’d find in the city, and you knew he’d been feeling the same nervousness you had as you came closer to finding what you sought.</p><p>“Okay,” you agreed. “We’ll tell them the truth.”</p><p>He seemed to relax a little - he must have known you’d picked up on his tone, and was thankful you’d taken it in stride. He brushed his hand over the baby’s head, then touched his fingers to your cheek.</p><p>“Thank you,” he said. “I love you.”</p><p>You took a steadying breath and held your baby closer. “I love you too.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>this one's obviously a tone change from dralshy'a ka'ra, which was all sunshine, but i really wanted to do another episode rewrite and i thought chapter 13 had such great potential for family bonding and hurt/comfort. i hope you like it!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Deal</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The walls of the city were every bit as bleak as the landscape they jutted up from. Dirty grey stone was topped by a bell tower and a pair of soldiers, their breather masks dark with a thin, horizontal visor. They turned to each other as you approached from the edge of the forest, and their conversation was clipped and modulated through their vocoders.</p><p>“What do you think, cyar’ika?” Din asked, his voice low. “Should I start wearing a mask like that?”</p><p>You looked up at him, confused by the question. “No. I like your mask the way it is.”</p><p>He gave a soft chuckle. “I know,” he said. “I was kidding.”</p><p>“Oh,” you said, feeling a little sheepish. He’d been trying to ease your obvious tension with a little humor, and it had gone straight over your head.</p><p>He gently nudged his shoulder against yours. “Take a deep breath, cyare,” he said kindly. “We have nothing to hide.”</p><p>Nothing except a ship that was flagged by New Republic records, a stolen asset of the Imperial warlords, and the man who was wanted for both transgressions. You couldn’t help a wry smile and knew he was smiling back at you under the helm.</p><p>As you approached the gate, a third, maskless soldier appeared to stand in front of the wide, oddly-shaped bell that topped the tower. He peered down at you through the gloom and took in your small party as you came to a stop.</p><p>“State your business,” he called down.</p><p>Din kept his posture intentionally relaxed. “Been tracking for a few days,” he said. “Looking for a layover.”</p><p>The soldier raised a brow. “Nice armor.”</p><p>You husband didn’t offer a comment, though you weren’t sure what the soldier had been expecting in response. The soldier looked from Din to you, and then to the baby in your arms.</p><p>“You a hunter, then?” he asked. You heard the suspicion in his tone; bounty hunters, especially Mandalorians, were usually lone wolves. To travel in such vulnerable company was unheard of for someone who made their living in violence. </p><p>Din wasn’t shaken; he didn’t owe anyone an explanation. “That’s right.”</p><p>“Guild?”</p><p>You schooled your expression and fought the temptation to cast a nervous glance at your husband. Though he wasn’t wanted by the Guild any more, thanks to Greef, Din still hadn’t been reinstated. Thankfully he was a much better liar than you were, by virtue of his helmet and extensive practice, and kept his tone neutral. </p><p>“Last I checked,” he said. Hopefully this soldier wouldn’t feel the need to make sure.</p><p>One of the masked soldiers said something, and the soldier you’d been speaking to gave the order to open the gate. You released a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding - it had been a long time since you'd accompanied Din on a hunt, and you had never been as good as he was at keeping your nerves in check. He briefly took your hand in his own and gave it a quick, comforting squeeze.</p><p>The city was no more welcoming than the scorched forest, and you stayed close by your husband’s side as he led you through the thoroughfare. He stood tall and walked with intention, and you were better able to calm the unease that plagued you as you drew strength from his confidence and composure. Though he’d been nervous before, you knew he was in his element now; he’d honed his ability to bluff and intimidate for years, until it had become second nature. You caught curious and even hostile looks from citizens and soldiers alike, but no one approached you; a broad-shouldered Mandalorian clad head to toe in beskar was a strong deterrent to anyone looking for trouble.</p><p>If the state of the city was any indication, it seemed as though Calodan had trouble in spades. Masked soldiers marched through the city, boots tramping over broken cobblestones as they led people away from the main road. Anyone not accompanied by soldiers moved with caution and haste, looking over their shoulders and rushing indoors like something was after them. No one spoke - no friendly greetings were exchanged, no children played in the street. Broken-down droids wandered aimlessly with rusty joints and damaged vocabulators.</p><p>It seemed like an oppressive, desolate, <em> dangerous </em> place to live. If this is where Ahsoka Tano made her home, you would rather break your vow to the Armorer than leave your baby with her. You wouldn’t leave him here. You <em> couldn’t. </em></p><p>Din went up the only vendor on the street, a silver-haired old woman who watched him with a wary gaze.</p><p>“Pardon me, vendor, have you heard of anyone - ”</p><p>She turned and ducked inside without a word, and Din cut himself off with a sigh. Your baby gave a little babble and reached out after her.</p><p>“Shh, my darling,” you said gently, offering your finger for him to hold. He wrapped his claws around it and gave you a questioning look.</p><p>You bit your lip. He wasn’t being naughty; he wasn’t even being loud, really. But he always drew attention anyway, and his curious little coos would only attract more unwanted gazes. You pressed a soft kiss to his head and he was content to snuggle close to you again, but not before you realized he had attracted the attention of two younglings in an alley a few paces away. An older man knelt in front of them; they looked at your baby with wide eyes.</p><p>Din took a step towards the man. “You there,” he said easily. “I need some information. I’m looking for someone.”</p><p>The man ushered the children away and straightened. </p><p>“Please, do not speak to them,” he said firmly. “Or to any of us.”</p><p>You couldn't think why - surely they wouldn’t get in trouble for merely talking to you, and Din had shown no indication that he was looking for a fight.</p><p>Din sighed. “Look, I just need to know - ”</p><p>“The Magistrate wants to see you.”</p><p>You jumped at the warped, metallic voice so close behind you; you grabbed Din’s arm in panic and pulled yourself closer to him, pressing the baby safely between you. Din turned slowly, glancing at you to make sure you were alright before he turned his gaze to the masked soldiers that flanked you. Your hand trembled where it gripped the fabric of his flight suit; he briefly put his hand over yours and didn’t attempt to pry your fingers loose.</p><p>“It’s alright, cyare,” he said, softly enough that his modulator caught a little. You slowly let him go even though you wanted nothing more than to hold on tighter.</p><p>The soldiers waited for you to comply but seemed unwilling to act with any force if unprovoked. You guessed their presence alone must be enough to prompt obedience on the part of the townspeople, and wondered if anyone dared to question the bidding of the Magistrate. Your husband didn’t seem of any mind to, and he guided you back into the center of the street with a light touch on your back. </p><p>You tried to get your heart to stop beating so wildly in your chest. Din wouldn’t let anything happen to you, you knew. The soldiers accompanied you down the remainder of the street until it stopped at another gate; prisoners were strung up in shock cages on either side, groaning and pleading for help as currents of white-hot electricity jolted through them.</p><p>So <em> that </em> was what happened to anyone who questioned the bidding of the Magistrate. You shielded your little one from seeing the gruesome display and avoided looking at it yourself, fervently trying not to think about how your family might meet a similar fate after your meeting. Your baby burrowed closer against your chest as you followed Din through the gate.</p><p>The doors behind you closed and left you in a holding area of sorts, and you felt a brief thrill of claustrophobia before the second set of doors parted to reveal a beautiful courtyard. The difference between it and the rest of the city was jarring: lush trees framed twin pools on either side of the walkway, and a woman in long robes gazed into the water as it lapped up against the stone.</p><p>“Come forward.” Her voice was calm, commanding. You and Din complied, watching as she kept her attention on the water.</p><p>“You are a Mandalorian?” she asked. She sprinkled something from a little golden bowl into the water, and the surface shimmered with ripples as something moved below.</p><p>“Yes,” Din said. You were thankful, despite everything, at how quickly his voice soothed you even when he wasn’t speaking to you. You concentrated on the feel of him beside you - steady, calm, solid. Like he’d reminded you to at the front gate, you took a deep breath.</p><p>The Magistrate didn't turn from the water. “I have a proposition that may interest you.”</p><p>You felt a your tension ease, but not by much. You may not have been called to a private audience to be imprisoned in a shock cage or sent out of the city, but the thought of making a deal with her still made you wary.</p><p>Din considered her. “My price is high,” he warned.</p><p>She looked up at you then, moving to the center of the walkway; she circled like a tusk-cat for a moment, sizing you up.</p><p>“This target is priceless,” she said finally. “A Jedi plagues me. I want you to kill her.”</p><p>Ahsoka Tano was battling with the Magistrate of the city? She was obviously powerful, if the soldiers had done so poor a job of dealing with her that the Magistrate was looking to enlist a bounty hunter’s help. But as skilled as Din was, he’d never fought a Jedi - you had been hoping he wouldn’t have to.</p><p>The magistrate looked at you, eyeing you and your baby with interest. You wanted to step behind Din and hide, but made yourself stay still.</p><p>“That’s a difficult task,” Din told her. </p><p>She didn’t seem troubled. “One that you are well suited for,” she said. “The Jedi are the ancient enemy of Mandalore.”</p><p>Another reminder of the seemingly endless list of reasons why this whole venture was a bad idea - Jedi seemed to make enemies wherever they went. Though you supposed standing up to this Magistrate who kept her citizens in poverty and oppression indicated a moral code in the Jedi you were seeking, it still didn’t seem any way of life for one as little as your son.</p><p>If the Magistrate had expected to get a rise out of your husband with that comment, she was disappointed. “As I said, my price is high.”</p><p>She beckoned to the droid behind her, a guard who wielded a silver spear. You stiffened, and Din moved himself in front of you ever so slightly as she took the spear and slowly approached you.</p><p>“What do you make of this?” she asked. She offered the spear to your husband, and he cautiously moved to take it from her. You stayed where you were, your pulse thrumming a wary beat.</p><p>Din studied the spear, looking up its length and turning it over in his hands. Unlike the rest of the metal in the city, it caught the weak sunlight easily and shone like your husband’s armor. It looked at home in his hands; you knew it would be an impressive weapon if he were to use it. He raised his arm and brought the side of the spear down on his vambrace; it gave a clear, ringing tone at the contact like that of a temple bell.</p><p>“Beskar,” Din said. A weapon of that strength would be valuable to anyone, but its significance ran deeper to a Mandalorian. You wondered how he felt at the Magistrate owning something that rightfully belonged to his people, about her using it as leverage to get him to kill for her.</p><p>The Magistrate was no stranger to its significance. “Pure beskar,” she agreed. “Like your armor. Kill the Jedi, and it’s yours.”</p><p>Din handed the spear back to her. “Where do I find this Jedi?”</p><p>The Magistrate gave a self-satisfied smile, clearly thinking she had won him over to do her bidding.</p><p>“Last my scouts reported, she was deep in the forest southwest of the city,” she said. She looked over his shoulder at you. “Are you planning to take the girl and the little one with you?”</p><p>Was she suggesting he leave you here? You knew better than anyone that would only happen over your husband’s dead body.</p><p>Din held the Magistrate’s gaze.“Wherever I go, they go.”</p><p>She raised a brow. “Strange, for a Mandalorian to be attached to something so... fragile.”</p><p>You wished you felt braver under the scrutiny of her gaze and the sharpness of her observation. It was a sentiment you’d heard countless times since you and Din had started courting, and though you’d learned not to let it bother you as much, you still couldn’t ignore the truth of it. Mandalorians ran with <em> other </em>Mandalorians, not younglings and nervous things like you who had to be reminded to breathe. Din had never intentionally done anything to make you feel weak or less than - in fact, he did everything he could to teach you your own strength and bravery - but you knew it was a rare thing to find someone as good and kind as he was. </p><p>Meeting the Magistrate’s gaze, you raised your chin, trying to muster some defiance; she gave you a small, derisive smile in return.</p><p>“My chief officer will lead you out of the city and give you the Jedi’s last known coordinates” she said to Din. “Come back when you have killed her, and I shall uphold my end of the bargain.”</p><p>The doors behind you groaned open, and it was only then that Din came back to you. You knew he was aware of every potential threat and prepared to protect you from them, but you still felt uneasy with your back to the Magistrate. He steadied you with a gentle touch to your arm, and your baby cooed up at his father as you returned through the gate.</p><p>The soldier who’d questioned you earlier was waiting for you; Din spoke to him briefly, getting the coordinates as promised, and put himself between you and the gaunt officer as you walked back to the front gate. Fog threaded through the jagged treeline and curled over the charred ground, and the greenish sun was sinking lower.</p><p>You baby gave a little babble, drawing the officer’s dubious gaze. You gave the officer a challenging look, daring him to say something - it was easier to do with Din between you than it would have been otherwise.</p><p>“What is that thing?” the officer finally asked.</p><p>You glared at him. Who did he think he was? <em> Thing, </em> indeed. You’d like to give him a piece of your mind. But before you could retort with a healthy dose of mama-bear indignation, Din stepped in.</p><p>“We keep it around for luck,” he said, with what you were sure was a withering look under the helmet.</p><p>The officer sized him up. “You’re gonna need it where you’re headed.”</p><p>Din didn’t offer a response. He put his hand on the small of your back and led you away from the city, towards the southwest; the baby looked over your shoulder and gave the officer a parting coo, social as always. Despite your nerves, you couldn’t help a small smile and nuzzled a kiss against your baby’s cheek. His soft giggle was comforting as the forest became denser, and you held onto the precious sound as you pressed closer to Din’s side.</p><p>“Your daddy says we only keep you around for luck,” you told your baby.</p><p>Din looked down at your little one and gently tapped his nose. “Maybe if your mama wouldn’t go picking a fight with the chief officer, I wouldn’t have to.”</p><p>You huffed. “I wasn’t the one picking a fight. He called our son a ‘thing’, Din. A <em> thing.” </em></p><p>He gave an amused hum. “I know. But I didn’t want to have to explain to the Magistrate why her chief officer was beaten to death by your tiny fists.”</p><p>You gave a wry smile. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” You held your hand up in front of you and made a fist.</p><p>“They’re not <em> that </em> tiny.”</p><p>He took your hand in his, gently turning it this way and that in mock-seriousness until you laughed.</p><p>“Alright, fine,” you said. “They are tiny. Especially compared to yours.”</p><p>He chuckled and raised your knuckles to the bottom of his visor in a light kiss; you gave him a bashful smile back.</p><p>You walked the next few minutes in companionable silence, Din helping you through the obstacles the broken trees presented when you needed it. The forest wasn’t <em> nice, </em>by any estimation, but it was a good deal less stressful than the city had been. The baby could babble as much as he liked, and you were free to peruse your thoughts on how your situation had changed.</p><p>You hadn’t really known <em> what </em>to expect, but nothing that had happened so far seemed an indication that leaving your baby with Ahsoka Tano was a good idea. A forest planet with no forests, a Magistrate with the city pinned under her thumb, a commission to kill the Jedi you were looking for. Maybe you’d naively thought the Jedi would be a peaceful sort, that you’d be comfortable leaving your little one with someone kind who lived on a nice planet where he would be happy while he trained.</p><p>He cooed back at the deep lowing of some huge animal, and you hugged him close. No - even if everything had gone exactly as you wanted it to, you wouldn’t be comfortable leaving him. Just the thought of it made your whole body ache with grief. He was your <em> baby</em><em>,</em> even if he was technically older than both you and Din. What sort of mother gave up her child like that, to a perfect stranger?</p><p>You didn’t realize how tensely you’d curled in on yourself, how closely you held your baby like someone would snatch him away at any moment; he gave a little babble of protest, and you tried to relax. You kissed his head. </p><p>“Sorry, ad’ika,” you said quietly.</p><p>Din looked over at you. “You alright?” You knew from his tone he meant more than just physically, and you worried your bottom lip.</p><p>“You’re not going to kill her, are you?”</p><p>He held a low-hanging branch out of your way. “No, I’m not,” he said. “Even if I wasn’t looking for her, it wouldn’t be a noble kill. I don’t work for tyrants.”</p><p>You looked up at him. He was focused on making sure you were headed in the right direction, but you knew he would listen if you had more to say.</p><p>“How do you think the Magistrate got that spear?” you asked.</p><p>He shrugged. “I don't know. Maybe she had it made out of imperial beskar, or it might be an old Mandalorian weapon that fell into her hands somehow.”</p><p>You frowned. He didn’t seem that concerned about it, but you’d seen your husband willing to shoot first and ask questions later when it came to stolen Mandalorian armor. He’d nearly had a shootout with Cobb over it, and you didn’t understand his apathy towards the beskar spear.</p><p>“You don’t want it?” you pressed. </p><p>He looked over at you. “Do you? Even if we have to pay for it in blood?”</p><p>You flinched. He’d said “we”, but you both knew he’d be the one with blood on his hands, and he’d had enough of that already to know what it cost. Stolen armor meant a dead Mandalorian - or worse<em>, dar’manda,  </em>someone who had willingly given up the Way. To bring it back where it rightfully belonged was a matter of the Mandalorian soul. A beskar spear was, in the end, just a spear; he’d get more than he bargained for, working for someone like the Magistrate for a mere weapon, and you both knew it.</p><p>You turned your head and didn’t look at him. “Sorry.”</p><p>He sighed. “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I know that’s not what you meant.”</p><p>Neither of you said anything for a moment, this silence more tense than the last; without having to be asked, he offered you his hand to help you over a fallen tree in your path. You held his hand tighter than you really needed to, feeling a wave of relief and a little embarrassment when he kept his hand in yours even when you were safely on the other side.</p><p>“I really am sorry, Din,” you said quietly. “I didn’t mean to question your decision. I know you wouldn’t do something like that. Of course the spear isn’t worth it.”</p><p>He shook his head. "You don't have to apologize. I knew that wasn’t what you were saying, and I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that. Please forgive me.”</p><p>You took your hand from his, and his body language showed surprise only for a moment before you put your arm around his waist and pressed close to him. He relaxed and drew you close; he ran a soothing hand over your back, resting his helm against your head.</p><p>“I don’t like any of this,” you said, your voice muffled against his chest. Both of you were wound pretty tightly, and you hoped it wouldn't cause any more spats. Your baby reached out for his dad and Din offered him a finger to hold onto. </p><p>Din sighed. “I know. I don’t like it either. But we’re already here - we might as well find her and see what she has to say.”</p><p>He ran his thumb over the baby’s hand. “She might not even want to train him. He’s still so little.”</p><p>Your baby cooed and cocked his head, and the mannerism reminded you so much of Din that you felt a rush of tears you couldn’t prepare for. You leaned further into Din’s steadiness and took a wobbly breath.</p><p>“Promise me we won’t - ” Your voice hitched. You looked up at him. “Promise me we won’t leave him with her if it’s not safe. If she’s not - kind to him. I can’t leave him with someone who doesn’t - ”</p><p>You stopped yourself before you said what you meant, <em> someone who doesn’t love him. </em>To leave him with someone who loved him was too much to hope for, even in the best of circumstances. You’d have to let him go at some point, you knew, but you almost couldn’t bear it and certainly refused to if he wasn’t going to be safe and happy.</p><p>Your husband rested his helm against your forehead. “I promise, cyar'ika.” You knew how much he meant it, and felt some of the tension bleed out of you as you stayed safely in his arms.</p><p> </p><p>You walked for a long time before you neared the coordinates the officer had given you, winding through the remains of what must have been a beautiful forest before it was destroyed. The city must have gotten some material use out of stripping the landscape bare, but it wouldn’t have surprised you if the Magistrate had ordered it just for the sake of inflicting further destruction. It stretched on for miles, this barren wasteland, and the skeletal remains were so tangled together that it was often difficult to get through.</p><p>You ducked under a heavy, fallen trunk, minding your head carefully - though you hadn’t been hurt yet, your usually composed husband had endured a comical amount of aggravations during your hike. His cloak snagged on every little thing, he’d smacked his helmet stepping under a fallen tree, and he’d tripped so dramatically over a hidden root that you’d had to hold onto him for support as you doubled over in deep, hearty laughter. He’d grumbled good-naturedly as he let you lean on his arm, and eventually he'd started laughing too. It worked wonders to ease your tension and fatigue, and your baby had giggled with you, delighted to see his parents so amused.</p><p>Now, though, Din’s posture had straightened a little more as the tracker on his vambrace gave a chime. He pulled the strap of his Amban rife over his head and held the weapon in a relaxed but ready position.</p><p>“Well, these are the coordinates,” he told you, walking forward as he scanned the area. “Keep your eyes open. We must be close.”</p><p>He tapped the side of his helmet to activate his HUD; you looked around, unsure if you’d be able to spot anything that was trying to hide with the sun sinking low and the fog creeping in.</p><p>A far-off sound, like a tree being snapped in two, made you jump; an unfriendly animal screech followed, and you closed the small distance between you and your husband.</p><p>“You hear that?” he asked.</p><p>You nodded, grabbing his arm just below his pauldron. He gave your hand a distracted pat, trying to comfort you and stay aware of your surroundings at the same time.</p><p>“Don’t worry,” he said. He nodded to a boulder lodged in a mass of tree roots to your right. “Stay right here. Let me see what’s out there.”</p><p>You did as he said, cradling your baby close and worrying your bottom lip as Din took the sight off his rifle. He used it to scan the mass of scraggly trees ahead; you looked that way too, though you didn't hope to see anything he wouldn’t.</p><p>His gaze snagged on something, and he relaxed. “False alarm,” he said. “It’s just - ”</p><p>A bright, loud hiss came from behind you; for a second, all you could make out was a brilliant white light. Moving on instinct, you shielded your baby with your body, the unmistakable sound of weapons hitting beskar ringing in your ears.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Name and Soul</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You stumbled backwards, both arms wrapped protectively around your baby, eyes wide as you watched Din block swing after swing of the blazing white swords. Each parry sent sparks flying from his beskar; he met his attacker’s downward blow with his vambraces and held them there for a moment, the contact ringing as neither would give way. Din regained his footing and held the swords off with one arm while he activated his flamethrower, and the forest was awash in an angry red blaze. </p><p>He threw his whipcord and bound his attacker, giving you your first real look at the Jedi you’d been tasked to find.</p><p><em> She’s beautiful, </em>you thought foolishly, unable to process how quickly the fight had started. Her skin was the color of candlewick flowers, and the head-tails that draped over her shoulders were dusty blue and white. She looked slightly stunned by the whipcord that confined her, but only for a moment; she gave Din a smirk and leapt upwards. Your shocked gaze followed her as she drew the whipcord over a branch and hoisted Din up by his vambrace. He cut himself loose and drew his blaster as she drew her swords again.</p><p>“Ahsoka Tano!” he growled. She stilled at her name, studying him warily.</p><p>Din’s shoulders rose and fell with rapid breaths, and he held a half-defensive, half-placating hand out to her out to her even as he kept his blaster trained on her.</p><p>“Bo-Katan sent me,” he said, and you heard how he struggled to keep his voice calm. “We need to talk.”</p><p>They stayed frozen for a moment, each considering the other, perhaps gearing up for another round - then her gaze snagged on you, and the baby in your arms.</p><p>She turned off her swords and straightened, her posture relaxing.</p><p>“I hope it’s about him,” she said, surprise and genuine interest coloring her voice. Din turned, slowly holstering his blaster; you gave him a pleading look as your baby cooed at the two of them.</p><p>She took a few steps towards you, and you reacted in panic; whatever truce she and Din had come to, you didn’t know what her intentions were. Adrenaline and fear still coursed through your body, and you stepped back from her and held your baby closer.</p><p>She stopped when she saw your expression.</p><p>“Wait,” she said, her hands up in a conciliatory gesture. “It’s alright. I’m not going to hurt either of you.”</p><p>You looked to Din. She’d just attacked you, out of nowhere, and you couldn’t believe he was so willing to trust her.</p><p>“Din,” you said, willing him to understand your hesitation, your <em> fear. </em>You saw from the set of his shoulders that he wasn’t completely at ease with her, but he also hadn’t tried to stop her from coming over to you. What if she tried to take your baby? Your hands shook, and you couldn’t get your heart to stop pounding.</p><p>He closed the distance between you, placing a comforting hand on your arm. “It’s alright, cyare.”</p><p>“Alright?” you snapped. “She tried to kill you.”</p><p>Ahsoka put her hands on her hips. “In my defense, I thought <em> you </em> were coming to kill <em> me.” </em></p><p>You bit the inside of your cheek. It was probably best not to mention the Magistrate’s deal.</p><p>She nodded to your baby. “Are you... the little one’s mother?”</p><p>“Yes, I am,” you said, more confidently than you’d said anything else in this exchange. You met her gaze and held it, speaking to her not as a warrior, but as a woman and as a mother. </p><p>“I made a vow to protect him,” you said. “And even though we both know I can’t fight you, I will gladly let myself be the last protection he has from you, if I need to.”</p><p>You made no mention of your husband, nor of his far superior skill in fighting her if the need arose. You also didn't tell her you were pregnant, which made the act of self-sacrifice a more complicated thing. None of it changed the point you were trying to get across to her: she must be very careful to earn your trust where your son was concerned.</p><p>She nodded, her expression serious and sincere. “I know you will,” she said, and there was nothing patronizing in her tone. “I promise you won’t have any reason to. Not from me.”</p><p>You saw nothing but honesty in her eyes. For the first time since she’d drawn her swords, you felt your tension and fear ease. You relaxed your hold on your baby, and he reached out to Ahsoka and babbled at her.</p><p>“Hello, little one,” she said, and the smile that eased her expression was kind and gentle. She looked over at Din.</p><p>“We should head to my camp,” she said. “We don’t want to be caught out here after dark.”</p><p>He nodded. “Lead the way.”</p><p>You and Din walked beside each other, following a few paces behind Ahsoka as she led you to her camp. His body language was a little reserved, and he kept an uncharacteristic distance between you as you walked.</p><p>“Are you angry with me?” he finally asked.</p><p>You looked up at him. “No,” you said truthfully. “I’m not angry with you. I’m... sorry if I was a little harsh, earlier. I was just scared.”</p><p>“Me too,” he said. He shook his head. “I didn’t mean to try and rush you. She and I came to an agreement when we stopped fighting, without having to talk about it. It’s a little hard to explain. You just sort of... know that you’re not enemies any more. But it was wrong of me to try and force that on you.”</p><p>He put his hand to the small of your back as the path steepened. Steadying you, lending you his strength - that came as easy as breathing to your husband, and you felt a sudden rush of gratitude and tenderness at the way he continually showed you his willingness to protect and care for you.</p><p>“Thank you,” you said.</p><p>He looked down at you. “For what?”</p><p>You shrugged. “Everything. Taking care of me. I love you.”</p><p>“Oh,” he said, and he affectionately nudged his shoulder against yours, a little bashful. “Well, you’re welcome. I love you too.”</p><p>You took his forearm in a gentle grip and raised it to examine his armor. “Did she hurt you?”</p><p>He shook his head. “No. Well - ” He rolled his left shoulder. “Dangling from the whipcord isn’t nearly as fun as it looks. But otherwise I’m fine.”</p><p>You moved your hand down to his, and he twined your fingers together.</p><p>“Your armor was sparking like crazy,” you said. You tried to shake the memory of him bracing his arms together against her death stroke. “Did you know it would hold up like that?”</p><p>He shrugged. “It’s sturdy stuff, this beskar. I haven’t met a thing yet that it couldn’t hold up against. I’ve never had to use it against laser swords, but it seemed to do the trick.”</p><p>You glanced at the sword hilts strapped to Ahsoka’s waist. “I’ve never seen weapons like those before,” you said. You wondered if she was the only person who used them, or if they were a traditional Jedi weapon. Though you had always known Din would likely teach your son how to fight, that had always been a long way off, and you wondered how young Jedi were when they started training in combat.</p><p>“Me either,” Din agreed. “They’re powerful, there’s no doubt about that. I’d be afraid to use one of them, let alone two.”</p><p>You smiled. “No you wouldn’t.” Whatever he said, you knew your husband was skilled enough to be effective with a weapon he’d never used before and could become proficient with it if he put his mind to it.</p><p>“You can’t fool me, Djarin,” you teased. “You want to try them out, don’t you?”</p><p>He chuckled. “Maybe. It would certainly be an interesting look, wouldn’t it? A Mandalorian with a laser sword?”</p><p>You gave a soft laugh. “I think you could pull it off.”</p><p>You kept a hold of him as darkness fell; the roots grew more tangled and the fallen logs more numerous as you went deeper into the mountains. For all the times Din had gotten snagged on something earlier, he was much steadier on his feet with the night vision in his HUD. You, on the other hand, felt like you were stumbling over something every other step.</p><p>“Dank farrik,” you bit out, grabbing Din’s arm to keep from falling flat on your face. No sooner had you steadied yourself than he swept you off your feet, scooping you up bridal-style and holding you close to his chest. </p><p>“Din!” you squeaked, grabbing onto his shoulder for dear life. The baby giggled at the sudden swing upwards, and your husband gave a warm laugh.</p><p>“Relax, cyare,” he said. He gave Ahsoka a nod when she glanced back to see what the commotion was, and you thought you saw a smile on her face as she turned back.</p><p>Din kept pace behind her, seemingly no worse for wear with both his wife and baby in his arms. You relaxed and circled one arm around his neck while the other held your baby, who was absolutely delighted to be carried around by both his parents.</p><p>“You don’t have to carry me, Din,” you said, amused and affectionate. He was really quite the romantic under that tough exterior, and it had always been something you loved about him.</p><p>He hummed in agreement. “I know, but I figure it’s better than you twisting an ankle,” he teased. “And you’re probably tired, aren’t you?”</p><p>You nodded. It was very nice to be off of your feet for a moment; you’d been walking all day, and you knew Din must be just as weary of it as you were.</p><p>“My camp’s just ahead,” Ahsoka called over her shoulder. Your baby offered her a pleasant babble in response, and you smiled at the sound of Din’s chuckle.</p><p>“We sure did get a friendly one, didn’t we?” he asked.</p><p>You brushed your fingers over your baby’s ear, feeling an almost impossible amount of love for him when he smiled and cooed at you.</p><p>“Yeah, we did,” you agreed. You hoped that no matter what happened - whether he trained under Ahsoka or another Jedi, or stayed with you and Din - nothing would dim your little one’s bubbly and inquisitive personality.</p><p>As promised, you arrived at Ahsoka’s camp before long. Din set you down as she turned on her lantern, the warm golden light spilling over the ground in a small circle. You let your baby down to stretch his legs, and he toddled over to the lamp and greeted it with a curious babble.</p><p>A shiver took you by surprise, and you rubbed your hands over your arms as you realized how cool the night air was. You saw Ahsoka fasten her cloak over her shoulders and wished you’d thought to bring something; it had been warm when you left the Crest, and you didn’t know you’d be trekking through the mountains after you left the city.</p><p>“Here, cyare,” Din said from behind you. He unclasped his cloak and draped it over your shoulders. “Better?”</p><p>You snuggled into the warmth that enveloped you and gave him a grateful smile. “Much better. Thank you.”</p><p>Ahsoka perched on one of the small boulders near the lamp, watching your little one with a smile. You were unexpectedly endeared to the way she watched him with such obvious affection; though part of you wasn’t surprised, as your baby charmed everyone he met, you also hadn’t ventured to hope that she would even like him. You didn’t know how you felt about it; it would be much easier to justify <em> not </em>leaving him with her if she was unkind to him.</p><p>You watched as your baby clambered up onto the rock across from her; he sat still, uncharacteristic for your usually energetic and adventurous little one, and cooed up at her. He cocked his head and gestured with his little claws, something that still made you smile even if you’d seen him do a hundred times. </p><p>“Look, Din,” you said. You nodded to your baby. “It’s almost like they’re talking.”</p><p>He watched them for a few moments; Ahsoka certainly seemed to be nodding in response to your baby’s gestures, but didn’t everyone do that to a baby? You were a little surprised when Din pulled you aside a few paces.</p><p>“What?” you asked, your voice low. “What’s wrong?”</p><p>He didn’t say anything for a moment; you put a hand on his arm.</p><p>“Talk to me,” you said. “What is it?”</p><p>He looked over at your baby, then back at you. His shoulders were tense, and you wish you knew the reason for his discomfort.</p><p>“What if they <em> are </em> speaking?” he asked. “What if... it’s some language only Jedi speak? What if that’s the only way he communicates?”</p><p>You frowned. “He’s only a baby, Din,” you reminded him. “He’ll learn Basic. He’s just little, that’s all.”</p><p>He gestured over to the two of them. “But what is <em> that? </em> It’s not Basic, and it’s not just baby talk. He’s saying <em> something </em>to her, and she understands it.”</p><p>You looked back over at them. You <em> had </em> thought there was something different, more intentional about your baby’s gestures and coos as he sat with Ahsoka, but you’d dismissed the idea as quickly as it occurred to you. With Din’s concern, though, it came back in full force - <em> were </em> they speaking? Could Ahsoka understand your child in a way even you couldn't?</p><p>The thought made you pale with a mix of emotions you couldn’t quite identify. Grief, guilt, and sadness were among them, and something even a little like jealousy. </p><p>“They can’t be,” you said, even as it became clear that they <em> were. </em>“He’s not - he can’t...”</p><p>You and Din had been interacting with your little one every day, talking to him like you would a human baby. Had he been trying to speak to you, and you just couldn’t understand him? Had you been parenting him inadequately this whole time, thinking you knew what was best for him?</p><p>Your chest tightened. How <em> could </em> you know what was best for him? You and Din weren’t Jedi. It was why you had been tasked with returning him to them, why you had been looking all over the galaxy for a Jedi - your baby belonged with <em> them. </em></p><p>You looked over at Din, who had started to pace back and forth, agitation rolling off him in waves. You weren’t a pacer, but your discomfort needed somewhere to go; you worried the fabric of his cloak between your fingers, twisting and pulling at the well-loved cloth.</p><p>“Have we been doing this all wrong?” you asked.</p><p>He didn’t stop pacing. “What do you mean?” he asked, cautiously, as if he knew already.</p><p>You bit your bottom lip, feeling closer to tears than you wanted to be. “What if we - ” You shook your head. “What if we’re <em> not </em>what’s best for him, Din?”</p><p>That did stop his pacing, but he seemed no less tense. </p><p>“We are,” he said. “Of course we are, cyare. Don’t talk like that. We’ve done the best we can.”</p><p>You felt a flash of frustration and guilt. “Isn’t that the problem?”</p><p>You thought of your other little one, the one growing inside you. You had considered yourself a decent mother - rough around the edges, perhaps, without your own mother’s help, and capable of making mistakes like everyone else. But with Din’s help, you were trying so hard to be the mother your babies needed - one who taught kindness and virtue, one who protected and cared for them above everything else. And you <em> loved </em> your son, like you already loved this baby you carried. You truly hadn’t considered a misstep of this magnitude, nor the idea that your son would really be better off with the Jedi.</p><p>“We can’t even speak to him, Din,” you said desperately. “How many other things are we doing wrong? How many other things am <em> I </em>doing wrong?”</p><p>Din read your distress easily and closed the distance between you. He put his hands on your shoulders, something he did when he really wanted you to listen to him.</p><p>“You haven’t done anything wrong, cyare,” he said. His voice was gentle and firm. “You’ve loved him as your own. You’ve taught him and protected him and loved him like he came from you. You can’t blame yourself for something you didn’t know.”</p><p>Your vision blurred in a wash of tears. </p><p>“I knew he didn’t belong with me,” you said quietly. “Deep down, I must have known - I <em> did </em>know, and we were always supposed to bring him to the Jedi. I was never supposed to be his mother.”</p><p>His grip on your shoulders tightened.</p><p>“No, cyare.” He sounded hurt, heartsick. He released your shoulders; his hands hovered near you, as if unsure how best to comfort you.</p><p>“How can I convince you?” he asked. “You’re a wonderful mother, cyar'ika. He belongs with you. He belongs with <em> us. </em> He’s supposed to train with the Jedi, but  - we’re his family. We’ll always be his family, even if we have to let him go.”</p><p>You pressed your hands to your face, hiding behind them as a few tears fell. You leaned against his chest, and he gathered you in his arms.</p><p>“He’s your baby, cyar’ika,” he said gently, holding you close. “You’re his mother. You took the adoption vow just like I did. He belongs with us.”</p><p>You remembered the day you said the adoption vow, both you and your husband repeating the words after the armorer. <em>Ni kyr'tayl gai sa'ad -</em> <em>I know your name as my child. </em>Din had explained to you later that adopting a foundling was a very serious thing and a cause for great celebration: a parent and their foundling shared <em>gai bal manda,</em> name and soul. You had kissed your baby then, cradling him in your arms as Din held both of you close, calling him Djarin’ika - little Djarin.</p><p>You felt a wave of peace at the memory. He <em> did </em>belong with you. Whatever happened, he was your son, the little one who had made you a clan of three. Your little Djarin.</p><p>You took a deep, steadying breath and looked up at your husband.</p><p>“He belongs with us,” you said.</p><p>Din cradled your face in his hands and rested his helm against your head.</p><p>“Yes, cyare. No matter what happens, no matter how far apart we are. He’s still our son, and he’ll always belong with us.”</p><p>You rested against his touch for a few moments, both of you drawing strength and comfort from each other. You were so thankful for Din, for his kindness and honesty and unwavering love for you and your family.</p><p>“Our son is lucky to have you as his father, Din,” you said, holding his wrists in a gentle grip. “Your dad would be very proud of you.”</p><p>Din cleared his throat, the sound thick with tears. You pressed closer to him.</p><p>“Thank you, cyare,” he managed after a moment. “That means more to me than you know.”</p><p>You held him for a moment more, then pulled away just enough to press a kiss to his helmet, right over his cheek. “I love you.”</p><p>He released a shaky breath. “I love you too, cyar’ika.”</p><p>He held you for the space of a few heartbeats, seeming to collect himself; when he straightened, you could see from his body language how tired he was. The light of the huge moon shone weakly through the clouds and reflected dully off his beskar.</p><p>“What do you think they’re talking about?” you asked, looking over at Ahsoka and your baby.</p><p>Din shook his head. “I don’t know. I think that’s what we’re about to find out.”</p><p>Both of you watched as Ahsoka lifted your baby into her arms, carrying him with one hand and holding the lantern with the other. She made her way over to you, the lantern light swaying gently over the ground; you took Din’s hand in yours and tried to keep yourself from asking the hundreds of questions that ran through your mind.</p><p>She set the lantern down and placed your baby on the stone nearest Din. Your baby looked up at his father with a sweet little smile before he looked back at Ahsoka, babbling to her again as she sat across from him.</p><p>Din shifted his weight onto the other foot; his impatience, his <em> nervousness, </em>was easy to read.</p><p>“Is he speaking?” he asked her. “Can you... understand him?”</p><p>Ahsoka tucked her hands under her cloak, considering his question.</p><p>“In a way,” she said. She looked up at you. “Grogu and I can feel each other’s thoughts.”</p><p>You felt a wild, sudden thrill in your chest like the beating wings of a caged bird.</p><p>“Grogu?” both of you asked.</p><p>Your baby swung his gaze over to you, his little ears flopping with the movement. He cooed and looked up at you with those big, starry eyes, and you felt a deep ache in your chest.</p><p>“Yes,” Ahsoka said. You almost didn’t hear her. “That’s his name.”</p><p>
  <em> Oh. </em>
</p><p>You couldn’t say anything. You couldn’t <em> think </em>anything. You squeezed Din’s hand, tightly.</p><p>“Grogu,” he said again. Gentle, wondering. Your little one looked up at him and gave him a curious coo.</p><p>You couldn’t help your beaming smile, then, nor the rush of tears that accompanied it. You knelt in front of him and extended your hand to him; he took hold of your finger and waved it happily.</p><p>“Hi, my love,” you said softly, only for him to hear. “My little Grogu.”</p><p>His ears perked up and he showed you a toothy grin, and you thought your heart might break with love for him.</p><p>“That’s right,” you said, and your voice was wobbly with emotion. You ran your thumb over his fingers. “Your mama loves you, Grogu Djarin.”</p><p>He giggled when you pressed a kiss to his head, touching your cheek with his little hand.</p><p>You felt Din’s hand on your shoulder; he knelt next to you, but kept his gaze trained on Ahsoka.</p><p>“What did he say?” he asked her. “When you were talking?”</p><p>You looked up at Ahsoka; her expression was calm and somber.</p><p>“He was raised at the Jedi Temple on Coruscant,” she told you. “Many masters trained him over the years. At the end of the Clone Wars when the Empire rose to power, he was hidden. Someone took him from the temple.”</p><p>You sent a silent thank you to the jate’kara for keeping your little one safe, for whoever had hidden him from those who sought to do him harm.</p><p>“Then his memory becomes... dark,” Ahsoka said. “He seemed lost. Alone.”</p><p>You wondered how long he had been alone before Din found him. You knew he must have been lost before he came to you, but you didn't like to dwell on it. To know he had been raised with the Jedi and had Masters train him and care for him, only to be taken away so suddenly and left all alone, tracked by bounty hunters and hunted by the Empire - you wished you could protect him from everything that had ever hurt him.</p><p>“I’ve only known one other being like this,” Ahsoka said. “A wise Jedi master named Yoda.”</p><p>Your baby - <em> Grogu </em> - looked over at her at the Jedi master’s name. She smiled.</p><p>“Can he still wield the Force?” she asked.</p><p>Din cocked his head. “You mean his powers?”</p><p>As much as you wanted to know more about Grogu’s past, you let your husband carry the conversation; your little one was tired, and his head nodded as his eyes fluttered shut. You gathered him into your arms and held him close; he grabbed a fistful of your shirt and snuggled close to you.</p><p>“The Force is what gives him his powers,” she explained. “It is an energy field created by all living things. To wield it takes a great deal of training and discipline.”</p><p>Din considered this. “I’ve seen him do things I can’t explain. Both of us have.”</p><p>His grip on your shoulder tightened, a warning and a comfort.</p><p>“Our task was to bring him to a Jedi,” he said.</p><p>Ahsoka shook her head. “The Jedi order fell a long time ago.”</p><p>“So did the Empire,” Din countered. “Yet it still hunts him. He needs your help.”</p><p>She looked at the baby in your arms for a long moment, the barest hints of sorrow and regret lining her face. However long ago the fall of the Jedi order had been, you knew she had not yet healed from the loss.</p><p>“Let him sleep,” she said gently. “I’ll test him in the morning.”</p><p>She rose, hesitating before she turned away. She looked at the three of you.</p><p>“He doesn’t feel lost or alone any more,” she said. “Not with you.”</p><p>You knew from her voice that she was telling you the truth. You searched her face, gratitude and sympathy warring as you saw the complicated mix of emotions across her expression.</p><p>“Thank you,” you said sincerely, your voice tight. “You’ve given us a great gift, Ahsoka. We’re more grateful to you than you know.”</p><p>Her smile was genuine, if shadowed by sadness. “You’re welcome.”</p><p>You watched her go, her figure enveloped by shadows as she stepped out of the light of the lantern. You wondered if she had any family, if she too had been lost and alone after the Jedi order fell.</p><p>You looked down at your baby.</p><p>“Grogu,” you said softly, not intending to wake him. It was a good name, fitting for your little one. Grogu of Clan Djarin, sharing name and soul with you and Din.</p><p>“Come on, cyare,” your husband said, his voice low so as not to wake the baby. He helped you to your feet and held you close for a moment, you and Grogu held safely in the circle of his arms.</p><p>“I can’t believe we know his name,” Din said softly. He brushed a finger over his son’s ear. “Grogu. <em> Ni kyr'tayl gai sa'ad, </em> ad’ika.”</p><p>You swallowed. Your adoption vow meant that much more now that you knew his name. Din tapped his helm against the crown of your head, like a gentle kiss.</p><p>“We should try and get some rest,” he said. “I know you didn’t plan on being away from the Crest so long, though. I'm sorry.”</p><p>You shrugged. “It’ll be like the old days, right?” you said. You gave him a smile. “You forget I went with you on lots of hunts back then, and we ended up sleeping under the stars more than once.”</p><p>He put his hand around your waist and drew you close as he steered you towards a small clearing in the brush. </p><p>“Oh no, cyare,” he said, an edge of teasing to his voice. “I haven’t forgotten those nights.”</p><p>You felt your face warm a little despite the cool night air. Back then, when the two of you were newly married and chasing the rush of bounty hunting, you rarely spent your nights under the stars <em> just </em> sleeping. That desire for each other had never dimmed, but becoming parents had cut down on your opportunities to be spontaneous, and you couldn’t remember the last time you’d had such a... <em> risky </em> liaison with your husband.</p><p>Din settled himself on the ground, his back propped up against a broad tree trunk. “We should do that again, sometime.”</p><p>You curled up next to him, resting against his chest and drawing his cloak around you and your baby. Din put his arms around you slowly ran his hand up and down your arm.</p><p>“Do what?” you asked. You hid a yawn behind your hand and leaned your head on his collar. “Start hunting again?”</p><p>He hummed in agreement. “Or just fly somewhere and go at each other as many times as we can before we get caught.”</p><p>You laughed. “Din,” you chided. You weren’t necessarily opposed to it, but you were less adventurous in that way than you had been back then. You preferred to make love to your husband somewhere you <em> wouldn’t </em>get caught.</p><p>He chuckled and drew you closer. “I’m only teasing,” he said. “But, we <em> are </em>going to have a new baby soon. Our chances for something like that are about to be few and far between.”</p><p>You hadn’t really though of that - bounty hunting would become more difficult than ever with two babies. Though you had enough credits saved that you didn’t need to hunt now, it was something you would have to work out eventually. But you were already overwhelmed with everything that had happened<em> today; </em> there was no use worrying about your future when you couldn’t do anything to change it right now.</p><p>You cuddled closer to your husband for warmth. “Sorgan,” you said.</p><p>He gave a soft grunt as he got comfortable. “What about it?”</p><p>Despite the darkness, and your back turned to him, you smirked. “You can go at me as many times as you want before we get caught, when we go back to Sorgan.”</p><p>“I thought we were going back to Sorgan to have the baby,” he said. His voice was intrigued, though, and you knew you’d piqued his interest.</p><p>You gave a half-shrug. “I guess you’ll have to take me back before then,” you said cooly. He would have taken you back regardless, if you asked and he thought it was safe; but you kind of liked the idea of getting back to your more adventurous days, even if it was just in the woods on a backwater planet rather than on a high-adrenaline bounty hunt.</p><p>He gave a soft laugh. “Alright, cyare,” he said. “You’ve still got a little <em> shereshoy </em> in you, hm?”</p><p>That was a Mandalorian word for living life to the fullest, having a zeal for the enjoyment of each day, no matter what it brought. You and Din had lived like that before Grogu came to be with you, in the traditional way; you still believed you lived it out now, even if it looked different than it had back then. You were a wife and a mother, and you loved it and wanted to do it for the rest of your life. It was a different kind of shereshoy, but one you liked just as much.</p><p>A little bit of adventure wouldn’t hurt, though.</p><p>“We’ll go back to Sorgan,” he promised. “Sometime before the baby’s born.”</p><p>He didn't say whether Grogu would be with you, and you didn’t ask. There’d be plenty of time for working through that with Ahsoka tomorrow, in all its confusion and sadness and worry. For right now, you were together - and that was enough for all of you.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Vulnerable</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em> Kriff, </em>you’d forgotten how uncomfortable it was to sleep on the ground.</p><p>Your little one seemed no worse for wear; after a last snuggle in the cradle of your arms, he toddled off of your lap and happily chased a lizard across the ground. </p><p>You and Din indulged in a few minutes of commiseration as you set to making a simple breakfast of portion bread, sharing a few bites with your little one whenever he could be coaxed away from chasing the critters he found. Din sat next to you, lifting the bottom of his helmet to eat; it was too risky to take it off when he wasn’t absolutely assured it was only you and your baby watching. </p><p>“You don’t ever sleep with your helmet on anymore,” you observed. You knew he must have many times while on a hunt, but most nights found him asleep in your bunk with no armor on.</p><p>“No, thank the Maker,” he agreed. His morning voice was impossibly deep through his vocoder. “It’s fine to have on during the day, but it’s a little annoying to sleep in. It’s like sleeping with your boots on.”</p><p>You stroked your fingers over the shiny beskar; it would be smudged with dust by the time you got back to the Crest, and it would need a good polishing.</p><p>“At least your morning voice is even deeper,” you teased.</p><p>He chuckled, and the sound was so gravelly that you flushed. </p><p>“You like it, hm?” he asked, knowing full well the effect he had on you. You gave his shoulder a light shove, and he laughed; you drank in the sound of it and the feel of him next to you.</p><p>“Ad’ika,” Din called when your baby had wandered a little too far. Grogu responded to the nickname as easily as he had his own name the night before, and you felt a bit of relief and comfort that he was just as familiar with your name for him as his given name.</p><p>“Come back over here,” Din said, crooking a finger. “You know better than to wander off.”</p><p>With a slightly disgruntled coo, your baby came back closer to you and contented himself with collecting as many little rocks and pebbles as he could fit in his tiny hands. One would tumble out as soon as he found another one, and you smiled at his diligence in collecting them.</p><p>Din stood, stretching a little as he did, a soft groan coming through the modulator. "I’m too old for this.”</p><p>He offered his hand and helped you to your feet, and you suddenly felt a twinge of morning sickness. </p><p>“I’m too pregnant for this,” you said with a weak laugh.</p><p>Din’s whole demeanor changed as he stepped closer and hovered around you. “Are you alright? What’s wrong?”</p><p>You huffed a laugh and closed your eyes. “I’m fine, honey,” you said patiently. You would never have characterized your husband as a <em> nervous </em>man, but this pregnancy had brought out a fair bit of anxiety in him, and he fussed at every little thing.</p><p>“Morning sickness?” he asked, offering you his arm to lean on.</p><p>You nodded and steadied yourself against him. “It’ll pass.”</p><p>“Hey,” he said suddenly. You heard him rifle through something, probably the pocket on his belt. “I have some of those Kismet biscuits you liked on Nevarro. Would that help?”</p><p>You opened your eyes to see a slightly crumpled packet of honey-colored cookies in his outstretched hand.</p><p>“You... you got more of those?” you asked. Cara and Greef had given you the grand tour of the city, and you’d had morning sickness then too - at Cara’s suggestion, you got Kismet biscuits and nibbled on them until your rocky stomach settled. </p><p>Din shrugged. “I thought they might be good to keep handy. I talked to a nurse droid at the school, and she said there wasn’t much you could do for morning sickness, but maybe these will help.”</p><p>You softened. “You talked to a nurse droid for me?”</p><p>He cocked his head. “Yeah.” He seemed to think it was a little thing, but it wasn’t a little thing to you. You knew how uneasy it must have made him to talk to a droid, even a nurse droid, but he’d done it for you. He’d also cared enough to pay attention to what helped and what didn’t, and to keep it on hand. You could just imagine your tough Mandalorian husband double-checking everything before you left the Crest - rifle, blaster, vibroblade, cookies for his wife’s morning sickness. You smiled at the thought.</p><p>“What?” he asked, amused.</p><p>You shook your head. “Nothing.” You took the packet from his outstretched hand and gave him an intentional smile. “Thank you for getting these for me, love.”</p><p>“You’re welcome,” he said. “I’m sorry you’re not feeling well.”</p><p>“You know what else would make me feel better?” you asked.</p><p>You could almost see his smile. “What’s that?”</p><p>You tapped your forehead. “A kiss, please.”</p><p>He chuckled and obliged you, resting his helm against your head for a moment. The beskar was nice and cool against your skin and helped ease your headache.</p><p>“Take it easy for a bit, ok?” he said when he pulled back from you. “I’m going to try and find Ahsoka and ask her what kind of tests she has in mind.”</p><p>He sounded a little uneasy at the thought, and you didn’t blame him. You weren’t sure what kinds of tests would be necessary to determine the extent of your son’s powers or previous training, and you resolutely refused to let him do anything that would hurt him.</p><p>But, it was early yet, and you were determined to make the best of this. You gave Din’s chest plate a comforting pat before you fished out one of the Kismet biscuits and broke off a piece of it, popping it in your mouth.</p><p>“Is that helping at all?” he asked.</p><p>Actually, it was - the sharp, bittersweet taste made the morning sickness fade to a dull racket.</p><p>“Yeah, it is,” you said. “And they’re good, too. Thank you again.”</p><p>He chuckled. “You’re welcome, again.” He touched a few fingers to your cheek in parting as he stepped around you to hunker down to your son’s level. Grogu abandoned his collection of rocks and gave his daddy uppy arms, cooing happily.</p><p>“Hi, buddy,” Din said sweetly, and you could hear his smile. He took Grogu in his arms and stood. “Be good for mama, ok? I’ll be back in a little bit with the nice lady, and then you can show her your powers.”</p><p>Grogu’s ears perked up, and he babbled a response.</p><p>“I know, it’s exciting,” Din said. “You need to be on your best behavior, and mind your manners.”</p><p>You smiled. That was your husband’s go-to philosophy for raising kids - before anything else, teach them to be respectful and to mind their manners. You liked it, and the admonition had become part of your parenting vocabulary as soon as Grogu came to be with you.</p><p>Your little one gave an affirmative coo, and Din gently rubbed the tip of your baby’s ear between his gloved fingers.</p><p>“Okay. Go see mama.” Din handed your baby to you. “Be right back, cyare.”</p><p>You and Grogu waved to him as he left; even though Din would be back shortly, your baby always waved bye if someone put so much as two feet of distance between them. Din secretly loved it, and always made a point to wave back whether he was really leaving or not.</p><p>You sat on a fallen tree trunk and held your baby in your lap, and he gave a happy babble when you took another cookie from the packet for him. You put the rest in your pocket, hoping you wouldn’t need them later; you were feeling better with the cool breeze on your face. Most of the smog from the city was cleared away this far into the woods, and the forest was a little greener too; you wished you could have seen it in all its glory, before the magistrate had ordered it destroyed.</p><p>Grogu looked up at you, giving a soft chirp as he cocked his head. You smiled.</p><p>“Hi, my love,” you cooed. “You like your cookie?”</p><p>He held up his treat and grinned; you gave an affectionate laugh and brushed your fingers over his ear.</p><p>“I love you, Grogu,” you said. “And daddy loves you. And no matter what happens with these tests, your daddy and I are so proud of you.”</p><p>You hoped he understood you; if he didn’t understand the words, you hoped the tone of your voice told him how much you loved him. Ashoka wanted to test his powers, to see how much he remembered of his Jedi training - would she be disappointed if he didn’t know enough? You knew your little one was never more upset than when you or Din expressed disappointment when he got into mischief or disobeyed. It was especially noticeable with Din: your husband could scold from sunup to sundown and it wouldn’t really make a difference to your baby, but as soon as Grogu heard that shift from <em> frustrated </em> to <em> disappointed </em> in Din’s voice, he was immediately chastised and apologetic, and wanted assurances that Din loved him. </p><p>Your husband would scoop your little one up and remind him he was loved despite the trouble he’d gotten into. Din had told you that his father had dealt with him the same way when he was a youngling, and he had always been thankful for the compassion that accompanied the chastisement. You never got the chance to meet Din’s Mandalorian father; he died before you knew Din, but Din spoke of him with great affection and respect and often said he would have loved you and the baby. You wished you could have known him and told him how proud you were of the man he’d raised.</p><p>You knew Din would be crushed when your baby left. Being a father was everything to him, and he was so good at it - he loved Grogu more than anything, and even among Mandalorians he was known for the lengths he’d gone to in order to keep his child safe. Din <em> would </em> let Grogu go with Ahsoka if that was what was best for him, you knew that without a doubt; he would never stand in the way of what his son needed and deserved. And yet, the pain of losing him - it would be unbearable for both of you, a gap that nothing would be able to fill. Your new baby was a blessing and an incredible joy to both of you already, but you sometimes wondered if that joy would be overshadowed by the grief of losing Grogu, or if you would feel guilty loving your new baby when you missed your first so badly.</p><p>You brushed crumbs from Grogu’s shirtfront and touched a few fingers to his cheek.</p><p>“You’re gonna do great, ad’ika,” you said, trying to infuse your voice with confidence and excitement even if you felt more like crying. “Just... show Ahsoka what you know. Daddy and I are excited to see what you learned at Jedi school.”</p><p>He waved his hand in front of him.</p><p>“Yeah, that’s right,” you said with a gentle laugh. “The magic hand thing, just like Uncle Greef said.”</p><p>He looked pleased that he’d made you laugh and cooed up at you. He babbled something for a moment before he turned and looked towards the direction of Ahsoka’s camp; you’d heard footsteps too, and you saw the telltale shine of beskar through the dense trees.</p><p>“Alright,” you said quietly, holding him close as you stood. “Don’t be nervous, okay?”</p><p>He looked up at you with an expression that made you question if that reminder had been more for you or for him, and you kissed his head.</p><p>“Fine, I’ll try not to be nervous either.”</p><p>You followed Din and Ahsoka as they came through the trees and cut through to a raised portion of the clearing. A verdant carpet of moss covered the ground and crept up the stones, springy against the soles of your boots; Din went first up the rise and offered you a hand up.</p><p>Ahsoka turned to you and offered you a smile, genuine if not a little crooked, like she hadn’t had occasion to smile in a long time. You returned it and felt a little more at ease, angling Grogu towards her as she came closer.</p><p>“Let’s see what knowledge is lurking inside that little mind,” she said, tapping your baby’s nose. He cooed at her and her smile grew wider; your little one had always had the talent of drawing out smiles from people who’d long since forgotten how it felt.</p><p>She gestured to a small, flat stone and stepped a few paces from it. You set Grogu down, giving him a little pat of reassurance, and came to stand beside your husband. Both of you were nervous, jittery; Din hid it better than you did, and took your hand in his own to try and steady you with the gentle pressure.</p><p>Ahsoka picked a stone from the ground and held it out to Grogu. You watched in fascination as the stone drifted from her palm towards him, landing in his outstretched paws.</p><p>“Now return the stone to me, Grogu,” she said, and you were surprised at how gentle she was. He didn’t make a move to send the stone back, though, and you suppressed the urge to say something.</p><p>Your husband couldn’t help it. “He doesn’t understand.”</p><p>“He does,” she corrected. She looked back at your little one.</p><p>“It’s ok,” she said. “The stone, Grogu.”</p><p>You bit your lip and waited for your baby to do as she said, wondering if he was nervous, hoping he wasn’t intimidated. Din tilted his head towards Ahsoka in encouragement.</p><p>Grogu let the stone fall from his hands, and he looked so discouraged that you knew he hadn’t done it to spite anyone. You hated trying to perform under pressure and always ended up doing a worse job than you would have if no one had been watching you, and you couldn’t help but think your son was feeling the same way. You were all circled around him, after all, watching in silence for him to do something amazing; the pressure had to be uncomfortable, and you wished there was something you could do to ease it. </p><p>You watched as Ahsoka knelt in front of him, taking his little hand in hers. He didn’t meet her eyes.</p><p>“I sense much fear in you,” she said softly. A thread of worry pulled taut in you. What was your little one afraid of?</p><p>He did look up at her then, and realization flickered across Ahsoka’s face as they communicated in the way only they could understand. You wished you didn’t feel so jealous.</p><p>“He’s hidden his abilities to survive over the years,” Ahsoka said, looking up at you and Din. She stood and paced a few steps, thinking; you offered your little one an encouraging smile, hoping to ease whatever fear he felt.</p><p>“Let’s try something else,” she said. “Come over here.”</p><p>Din nodded towards Ahsoka again, urging your little one to do as she said; when he didn’t, Din shook his head.</p><p>“He’s stubborn,” Din said, and you were a little surprised at the hint of affection and amusement in his voice. While disobedience wasn’t a Mandalorian trait, stubbornness most certainly was, and it seemed your husband walked a fine line when it came to your little one’s unwillingness to comply.</p><p> Your little one was like his dad in a lot of ways; he’d picked up certain traits of Din’s, like the questioning tilt of his head, and was very attuned to Din’s moods in a way he wasn’t with yours. You didn’t mind how close they were - in fact, it was one of the things you liked best, seeing how much Grogu loved his dad and wanted to be like him.</p><p>Ahsoka seemed to see the bond between them; she looked from Din to his son, reading the communication of fondness and gentle exasperation from one to the other.</p><p>“Not him,” she told Din. “You. I want to see if he’ll listen to you.”</p><p>Din seemed to close in on himself, suddenly nervous and hesitant.</p><p>“That would be a first,” he said, and you knew him well enough to hear the edge of defensiveness and warning to his voice. Din was open and warm and comfortable with you and your baby, but it was very hard for him to be vulnerable around others, and you knew he felt nervous at the thought of his bond with Grogu being the center of attention.</p><p>He did as she said, though, and stepped over to her. Ahsoka gave him a soft smile. </p><p>“I like firsts,” she said. “Good or bad, they’re always memorable.”</p><p>You watched as she placed the stone in his hand.</p><p>“Now hold the stone out in the palm of your hand,” she said. “Tell him to lift it up.”</p><p>Din’s body language spoke of his discomfort, and he shifted his weight onto the other foot.</p><p>“Alright, kid,” he said. “Lift the stone.” His tone was oddly detached even considering his nervousness, and you felt wanted to tell Ahsoka this wasn’t how Din talked to him normally, to explain that Din was never this uncomfortable with affection. She seemed to understand, and a touch of sympathy softened her expression.</p><p>“Grogu,” she reminded him, knowing he knew his baby’s name but hoping to coax out that affection she’d seen earlier. Din set his shoulders and held the stone out again.</p><p>“Grogu,” he said, and your little one’s ears perked up. “Come on, take the stone.”</p><p>Again, your baby made no move to take it; the set of Din’s shoulders was taut with frustration and something a little like fear.</p><p>“You see?” he said to Ahsoka, tossing the stone to the ground. “I told you, he’s stubborn.”</p><p>There was no pride or amusement in his voice that time, and you realized with a wave of sympathy that it was more than just Din’s natural shyness that was making this so hard for him. Din knew as well as you did that if your little one did well enough with these tests, Ahsoka might decide to train him.</p><p>“Try to connect with him,” she said, and you knew Din would rather do anything else. To have his connection with his son be the very thing that could bring about their separation - you knew it was painful for him, and he was desperate to control it, somehow, even if that meant closing himself off.</p><p>“Din,” you said, before you could stop yourself. He looked over at you, tilting his head in question, undoubtedly studying your face. You searched for something to say to encourage him, to offer him comfort in a way that stayed between the two of you.</p><p><em> “Ne chaabar, cyare,” </em> you said. Your Mando’a was rusty as best, but you knew that phrase from how often he’d said it to you - <em> do not be afraid, beloved. </em> You hoped he knew everything you were trying to tell him: <em> I’m sorry, I love you, I’m worried too. It’s okay. </em></p><p>The set of his shoulders relaxed. He didn’t respond to you verbally, but his body language spoke volumes, as it always did: he looked more steady, less hesitant. He sighed as he looked back to your son, both of them tilting their heads at each other.</p><p>Din reached into the pocket of his belt and pulled out the gear shift handle, the thing tiny in his big hands. You softened and felt the strangest sort of ache in your chest. Din knew his little boy, and you knew Grogu would finally do as he was told if it meant getting to play with his dad.</p><p>“Grogu,” Din said, much gentler and more playful than he had before. He hunkered down and held the ball between two fingers. “Do you want <em> this?” </em></p><p>Your baby’s expression was completely transformed, his eyes wide with wonder and excitement, his ears perked all the way up. He made grabby hands towards the ball, and you couldn’t help a smile.</p><p>“Well, go ahead,” Din encouraged. “That’s right, take it. Come on.”</p><p>Grogu looked curiously at Din, perhaps trying to puzzle out why he was able to have it now when he hadn’t been allowed to before.</p><p>“You can have it,” Din assured him. “Come on.”</p><p>So quickly you almost missed it, your baby used his powers to pull the ball from Din’s hand and catch it in his own.  </p><p>“Good job!” Din said, genuine excitement and pride in his voice. “Good job, kid!”</p><p>He stood and looked over at you. “You see that?”</p><p>You nodded and gave him a glowing smile. You were happy, but Din was ecstatic; he was so proud of his little boy, and Grogu beamed when Din knelt in front of him.</p><p>“That’s right,” Din said, taking the ball when Grogu offered it to him. “I knew you could do it. Very good.”</p><p>Your baby held onto his dad’s finger and cooed happily at him, and you knew Din was smiling under the helm.</p><p>You glanced at Ahsoka; she seemed hesitant, of all things, and you felt a sting of worry.</p><p>“He’s formed a strong attachment to you,” she said, her tone unreadable. Then, after a moment, “I cannot train him.”</p><p>You and Din spoke at the same time. <em>“What?”</em></p><p>Din stood and approached Ahsoka as you moved to pick your baby up, a thousand emotions running through you at what she’d said. <em> I cannot train him. </em>A bigger part of you than you wanted to admit had been hoping for that very answer.</p><p>“Why not?” Din demanded. His tone was tight with frustration and confusion, vastly different from his earlier expression of happiness; Grogu read the change easily and gave a quiet, distressed coo.</p><p>“Shh, ad’ika,” you said softly. “Daddy’s not angry with you.”</p><p>“You’ve seen what he can do,” Din said to Ahsoka, gesturing to his son. Grogu cuddled closer to you.</p><p>“His attachment to you makes him vulnerable to his fears,” Ahsoka said firmly. “His anger.”</p><p>Nothing could have been more distinct from the Mandalorian way of life, where family bonds were a source of strength. Though you could tell it had taken Din off guard too, he merely shook his head, unwilling to argue.</p><p>“All the more reason to train him,” he insisted.</p><p><em> “No,” </em> Ahsoka said, her expression wide with unease and hurt like a wounded thing. “I’ve seen what such feelings can do to a fully trained Jedi knight. To the best of us.”</p><p>Her pain was raw, but your sympathy struggled to overcome the concern her words elicited in you. <em> What </em> feelings? Affection? <em> Love? </em> You balked at the idea of sending your son to train with people who considered a child’s bond with their parent to be dangerous, something that inevitably led to ruin and loss.</p><p>“I will not start this child down that path,” she said, and despite everything, you felt it was out of some curious sense of concern for Grogu’s well-being. You wondered if she ever questioned Jedi teaching. “Better to let his abilities fade.”</p><p>You wanted to protest, to challenge her supposed responsibility to her vow - didn’t Jedi take care of their own? And yet, you knew nothing of the Jedi way of life; your notions about honor and accountability came from your own upbringing and the Mandalorian Way. She may not be bound to help your little one at all.</p><p>Besides, you didn’t <em> want </em>her to train him. You’d known from the moment you set foot on this planet that you didn’t want him taken from you to train, and this new understanding of the Jedi way rooted that even more deeply in your heart.</p><p>“I’ve delayed too long,” she said, cutting off any further debate. “I must get back to the village.”</p><p>She walked to the edge of the  rise, intending to leave without another word; your baby gave a sad coo as he watched her go. You looked over to your husband, wordlessly asking what you should do.</p><p>He looked to Ahsoka. “The Magistrate sent me to kill you.”</p><p>Your eyes widened and Ahsoka stilled, his words having the intended effect. He stepped towards her. </p><p>“I didn’t agree to anything,” he said as she turned to face him. “And I’ll help you with your problem, if you see to it that Grogu is properly trained.”</p><p>You flushed with surprise and anger.</p><p>“Din,” you said sharply. He kept his gaze on her but held a hand out your way, and you couldn’t tell if it was supposed to be placating or silencing. Either way, you had to bite your tongue from yelling every curse you knew in Basic and Mando’a at your husband.</p><p>Ahsoka looked from Din to you, undoubtedly reading the tension between you.</p><p>“Very well,” she said after a moment, her need for assistance outweighing her apprehension in training your son. “I cannot train him. I will not. But, in exchange for your help, I will try and find someone who will.”</p><p>“Thank you,” Din said, and you couldn’t believe how relieved he sounded. “We’ll need to return to my ship. I need supplies, and I’m not taking my wife and child back into that city.”</p><p>Any other day you might have thought his protectiveness was endearing, but all you felt at the moment was the distinct, infuriating sense of being completely ignored. It was so unlike Din that you were almost concerned, but anger and incredulity outweighed any other feeling. You would have bet your life you and Din had come to the same conclusion about letting your son train with the Jedi after hearing her refusal and the reason behind it. That you hadn’t - <em> obviously </em> - left you reeling.</p><p>No matter. Ahsoka and Din would have to go through you to get Grogu and ship him off to train with the Jedi, and if nothing else brought them pause, surely that would.</p><p>Ahsoka nodded. “Lead the way.”</p><p>Din looked to you then, his body language clearly hesitant. <em> Good, </em>you thought bitterly. Let him fear the worst about what was going on in your head. You certainly weren’t of any mind to ease his discomfort, not when he’d so blatantly ignored you earlier. You weren’t going to confront him, at least not now - the last thing you wanted was to have a fight with your husband in front of Ahsoka, and both of you made it a point not to argue in front of your baby.</p><p>“Let’s go,” you said curtly.</p><p>A quiet sigh slipped through his modulator, and you could just imagine the downward pull of his brow as he frowned. He started in the direction of the Crest, and Ahsoka quickly followed.</p><p>As you walked, you kept some distance between you and your husband as Ahsoka drew him into a conversation of strategy for their attack on the city. Despite yourself, you missed his steady presence beside you; not even your anger with him could erase your desire to have him near. You held Grogu close and drew in on yourself, bitter and hurt, tuning out most of what they said as your own thoughts gnawed at you.</p><p>How could Din want your son to train with her, or with any other Jedi? How could he offer to risk his life to secure it? If your son’s powers came at the cost of his ability and freedom to love, you’d gladly let them fade. You couldn’t believe Din thought otherwise. Even more than your anger with him was your confusion, a desperate need to ask him what in the galaxy he could be thinking. </p><p>Your husband wasn’t a foolish man. He had never been given to thoughtless, reckless decisions, and in your marriage, he had never made a habit of making decisions without asking for your input. That he had now, especially about something as important as your son’s future and his own life, was a stunning blow. You were hurt and dismayed at how disconnected you felt from him; by his own actions, he’d separated himself from you, and you had rarely felt a deeper wound.</p><p>So consumed were you with your own thoughts that you didn’t notice Din had stopped walking until you nearly crashed into him. You instinctively put a hand to his back to steady yourself; when he looked back at you, you snatched your hand back like you’d been burned.</p><p>“Don’t underestimate the Magistrate either,” Ahsoka was saying. You’d failed to follow the first part of their conversation and couldn’t say you were sorry to have missed it.</p><p>Din tore his gaze from you and looked back at Ahsoka. “Who is she? She offered me a staff of pure beskar to kill you.”</p><p>Ahsoka crossed her arms over her chest, an almost smug expression crossing her features at the high death-price she warranted. </p><p>“Morgan Elsbeth,” she said. “During the Clone Wars, her people were massacred. She survived and let her anger fuel an industry which helped build the Imperial Starfleet. She plundered worlds, destroying them in the process.”</p><p>Din looked around you at the barren forest. “Yeah, it looks like she’s still in business.”</p><p>Ahsoka fixed Din with a questioning gaze. “When you were in the city, did you see any prisoners?”</p><p>Din nodded. “We saw three villagers strung up just outside the inner gate.”</p><p>Despite your own turmoil, you shuddered at the memory and held Grogu closer.</p><p>“We must find a way to free them,” Ahsoka said. You knew it had already occurred to your husband that those prisoners needed to be saved; he had probably already planned out how they should do it.</p><p>All three of you stood in silence for a moment, thinking about the upcoming attack on the city.</p><p>“A Mandalorian and a Jedi?” Din mused. “They’ll never see it coming.”</p><p>You resisted the urge to say something childish along the lines of <em>No, how could they? Not even your own wife could have seen it coming. </em> You still had a long way to go before you reached the Crest, and you weren’t keen to make the tension in your party any more difficult to bear than it already was. </p><p>You dutifully trudged along behind them as they started fine-tuning their strategy, the steady rhythm of your walking eventually lulling your baby to sleep. You had to accept Din’s help every so often as the terrain grew unwieldy; as soon as you were steady again, he let you go. Part of you was glad his touch didn’t linger. The other part of you wanted him to keep your hand in his even when you didn’t need his help; maybe then you could have been a way of being close to you, <em> loving </em>you, instead of just being a responsibility he felt obliged to uphold.</p><p>You felt as though the forest threatened to swallow you without your husband by your side, and you couldn’t remember the last time you’d felt so terribly lonely.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Challenged Vows</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You were relieved to see the Crest’s familiar shape emerge through the haze and broken trees. Your feet hurt from walking, your baby was heavy in your arms, and you’d worked yourself into total hopelessness. The sight of your home was welcome and comforting, and you felt yourself breathe easier as you came closer to it.</p><p>You lowered the ramp with the remote control on the bracelet Din made you when you first came to live on the Crest, a pretty little thing that he’d modified to control the ship and, later, the baby’s bassinet. You wished you still had that bassinet; it made travelling easier, and there was always a safe place to put Grogu if you and Din had your hands full. You wondered if you’d need two cribs once your new baby came, or if your husband would have already shipped Grogu off by then.</p><p>“Not if I have anything to say about it,” you said to yourself, nearly tasting your bitterness. You tucked Grogu into his hammock with intentional gentleness and closed the bunk hatch, wishing you could curl up and sleep too.</p><p>You heard the ramp close again over the sound of the refresher tap; the cold water felt good on your skin, and you buried your face in a towel afterwards, hiding from everything for a moment. When you finally looked up, you saw Din in the mirror; you knew him well enough to know he was studying your face in the reflection.</p><p>“Cyare,” he said, his tone soft through the modulator.</p><p>You whirled around. </p><p>“Don’t <em> cyare </em> me, Din,” you snapped. “I’m not in the mood for it.”</p><p>You waited for the flare of frustration and annoyance in his body language; when it didn’t come, you felt a little off-kilter.</p><p>“I know you’re angry,” he finally said.</p><p>Oh, <em> that </em> did it. Maybe <em> he </em> wasn’t frustrated or annoyed with you, but you were <em> livid </em>with him.</p><p>“Angry?” you repeated. You marched over to him, an accusing finger pointed at his chest. “Let’s get one thing straight, Din. Angry doesn’t begin to cover how I feel about this. About <em> you.” </em></p><p>“I know,” he said quickly. “And I’m sorry. But I — ”</p><p>“I don’t care,” you said, cutting him off, totally unwilling to listen to his explanation. You were finally, <em> properly </em> angry, and he was <em> going </em>to listen. </p><p>“I’m not sending our son to train with her or with any other Jedi, alright?” you said. “You can make as many deals as you like and come up with a million macho rescue missions to risk your life on. But he’s my son too, and I’m not letting him go with her.”</p><p>You realized you were practically yelling at him; while you weren’t concerned about how it would affect him - Din Djarin was made of sterner stuff, and could handle your temper - you didn’t want to risk waking the baby.</p><p>“Come up to the cockpit with me,” you said.</p><p>His helm gave a questioning tilt. “Why?”</p><p>You started up the ladder. “Because I’m not finished yelling at you.”</p><p>He followed you up, giving you as much space as he could in the somewhat cramped cockpit. Despite fully intending to keep up your tirade, he was suddenly <em>big, </em> imposing; for the first time in many, many years, you felt intimidated by all that beskar.</p><p>“Din,” you said softly.</p><p>He reacted immediately to your change in tone, opening his posture towards you. “What is it?”</p><p>You shook your head. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d been this angry with him, and you certainly couldn’t remember the last time you’d been even the tiniest bit <em> scared </em> of him. All of a sudden, you realized you wanted your <em> husband, </em> not the unreadable Mandalorian standing in front of you.</p><p>You worried the hem of your shirt. “Can you please take off your helmet?”</p><p>“Yes,” he said quickly, moving to comply without hesitation. He removed his helmet and set it on the dashboard; his face was lined with worry and hurt. “Sorry, cyare.”</p><p>His expression crinkled in a wince as he remembered you’d asked him not to call you that. “I mean — sorry. Just — sorry.”</p><p>You felt your anger lessen by degrees — not enough to let it go, by any means, but enough that you were more willing to listen to him. Really, you wanted to know why he’d made such a decision; you <em> wanted </em> him to explain it to you, to show you that it really <em> was </em> in your son’s best interest, to convince you that your husband <em> wasn’t </em>suddenly a completely different person.</p><p>“It’s ok,” you said tiredly. “I’m not — I just don’t want you sweet talking me, ok? You need to talk to me. <em> Really </em>talk to me, right now.”</p><p>He nodded. “I am. I will. You have my full attention, and I will hear you out completely.”</p><p>You bit the inside of your cheek. “But you’re not going to change your decision.”</p><p>His expression was pained. “No, cyare. I won’t. But I think you know that I can’t. <em> We </em>can’t.”</p><p>“We?” you repeated. “I didn’t make this decision, Din. <em> You </em>did, by yourself, and you completely ignored me while you did. Since when do you make decisions about our family by yourself?”</p><p>“I didn’t want to,” he said, and it frustrated you how sincere it was. “You have to know that. And I apologize for ignoring you — that’s not the way I wanted this to go, believe me.”</p><p>He ran a hand  over his face, his remorse clear as day in his expression. “I had to. I didn’t know what else to do. She was going to leave, and we were going to lose the only Jedi we’ve managed to find.”</p><p>You wanted to say that it would have been a good thing, but despite your intentions of bringing him up here to yell at him, you made yourself hold your tongue.</p><p>He looked at you with a surprising gentleness.</p><p>“It’s not forever,” he said. “It’s only training. Mandalorian children leave for training, too.”</p><p>“He’s not going for Mandalorian training, though,” you said. You understood that he was trying to comfort you, but the length of time Grogu would be gone was only a small concern next to the kinds of people he’d be with.</p><p>“Didn’t you hear what she said?” you pressed. “I can’t think of anything more different from the Way than — than thinking loving your family is <em> wrong.” </em></p><p>"She didn't say that," he corrected. "She said attachment makes you vulnerable, which is true."</p><p>You tried to reconcile his justification with what you knew him to believe, with what he'd lived out since the day you'd met him.</p><p>"Vulnerability isn't bad," you said. <em>"You</em> taught me that. And if our son goes trains with the Jedi, he'll be taught that it is. Doesn't that bother you?"</p><p>His expression, always so easily readable, flickered with uncertainty.</p><p>“It <em> does </em>bother you,” you said, and with the realization came a surprising wave of relief. To know you were at least agreed on that, even if he wouldn’t admit it, was reassuring to you.</p><p>His posture stiffened with agitation, and you knew you’d hit a sore spot. You knew he wanted to pace, but there wasn’t room for it; he drummed his fingers on the top of his helmet instead.</p><p>“It doesn’t matter if it bothers me,” he said, sounding as if he was trying to convince himself.</p><p>You balked. “How can it not matter, Din? You’re his father. Of course it matters.”</p><p>He shook his head. “What matters is that I honor the vow I made to him. That <em> we </em>honor that vow.” </p><p>He looked up at you, his expression starting to show the frustration you felt.</p><p>“Has that crossed your mind at all?” he asked. “That you made a vow to him? In front of me, in front of the armorer?”</p><p>You crossed your arms over your chest. “Of course it has. It’s why I don’t want him to go with Ahsoka.”</p><p>“That doesn’t make sense,” he snapped. “Our vow was to return him to the Jedi.”</p><p>“Our <em> vow </em>was to be his parents,” you corrected. “And I think that overrides the promise to return him to the Jedi. What kind of parents would we be if we watched him grow up thinking that attachment and love were dangerous?”</p><p>“We’re not going to watch him grow up at all,” he shot back, bitterness and anger pouring from his tone. “Don’t you get it? He’s older than both of us. Once we’re gone, he’ll be completely alone.”</p><p>He ran a hand through his hair. “The Tribe — it’s completely gone, cyare. If there’s anyone left, they’re scattered. I don’t even know where the armorer is. Grogu needs to be raised in a clan, or raised by his own kind. We were never going to be able to keep him forever.”</p><p>You knew what he said was true. His rate of aging wasn’t a problem now, when you and Din were both relatively young, but Grogu would live to be much older than either of you. Din was right. If you were a part of a bigger clan, Grogu could be raised as a Mandalorian — it might take a few generations, but he would never be on his own.</p><p>“Let’s find another covert, then,” you said. “Or try to find Paz, or the armorer, or anybody from the Tribe who might have survived.”</p><p>Din shook his head. “No. There’s no telling where they are, and the covert on Nevarro is the only one I ever knew of. Besides, we have a Jedi <em> right here </em> he can go with. We’re not going to have this kind of chance again.”</p><p>“I don’t want him to go with the Jedi,” you said, for what felt like the millionth time. “Are you even listening to me? I don’t want him trained like that.”</p><p>“It’s not our choice how to train him,” he argued. “We didn’t vow to return him to the Jedi unless we didn’t like what they teach, and then, hey, I guess we can just do whatever we feel like doing.”</p><p>You frowned. “Don’t make fun of me.”</p><p>“I’m not making fun of you,” he said, exasperated. “I’m just trying to make it clear that our opinions on Jedi training have nothing to do with the decision we need to make.”</p><p>“The decision you already made, you mean.”</p><p>He scowled. “Yes, and it’s a good thing I did, because you would have let her walk away.”</p><p>“Yes, I would have,” you shot back. “And I never would have dreamed you’d do anything different.”</p><p>“Then you’re not able to look at this objectively,” he snapped, his frustration rolling off him in waves. “Do you think I like the fact that he'll grow up learning the exact opposite of what I was taught? That I like sending him off to the people I grew up knowing only as the enemy? My father would be rolling in his grave if he knew. But I’m doing this because it’s what’s best for our son. I’m doing it because it’s what I vowed to do.”</p><p>Something inside you snapped. </p><p>“Then you care more about the Way than you do about your son’s well-being.”</p><p>Din flushed with anger.</p><p>“That’s not fair,” he said. “You knew I was bound to the Way when you met me, and you agreed to live by the Way when you married me. I'm not asking you to do anything you didn't already agree to.”</p><p>“I didn’t agree to abandon our son.”</p><p>“We’re <em> not </em>abandoning him,” he said, and you could tell he was quickly reaching the end of his patience. “You knew when we adopted him we had to return him to the Jedi. It wasn't like the traditional adoption vow. He's supposed to go back to his people, and we're going to honor that vow.”</p><p>“What if I won’t?” you said. Your last attempt, your last recourse. “What will you do then?”</p><p>He didn’t say anything for a moment, stunned, and your challenge hung in the air between you. You’d never refused to go with him on something before, and he’d never had to answer such a question.</p><p>“Cyare,” he said, quiet and numb. The furious, sparking anger was all but gone, replaced by a stony determination and a bone-deep weariness.</p><p>“Djarins honor their vows,” he said finally. “As long as you bear my name, you’ll bear that vow.”</p><p>You sucked in a breath. “Din — ”</p><p>He closed the space between you, pressing a gentle kiss to your brow. “I have to go.”</p><p>“Din,” you said again. You put your hand on his arm and held tightly. “Don’t leave.” <em> Not like this. </em></p><p>He gently pried your hand from him. “We need all the daylight we can get, cyare.” He was still for a moment, then drew your hand up to his mouth and kissed your knuckles.</p><p>“I love you.”</p><p>“I love you too,” you said, without hesitation. “Please don’t go. It’s not your fight.”</p><p>The shadow of a rueful smile crossed his face. “I made a vow to help her. I won’t back out on it.”</p><p>He held your hand for a moment longer before he let you go. He took his helmet from the dash and put it back on again, masking himself in that armor that had never felt so distant, so unreachable.</p><p>“Din,” you said as he opened the cockpit doors. He turned and tilted his head, and the beskar was familiar to you again, just for a moment.</p><p>“Come back to me,” you said.</p><p>He nodded once, solemn. </p><p>“I’ll always come back to you, cyare. You know that.”</p><p>And then he was gone, leaving to risk his life in someone else’s fight, and it took everything in you not to run out and beg him to stay.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>as always, come see me on my tumblr, @javi-djarins ♡</p></blockquote></div></div>
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